Don't Begrudge the Generosity of God

I love when I see the Lord's generosity towards me, in the big or little things. Whether it be my job, a friend to talk to, a beautiful sunrise or a verse that reminds of the glories of Christ, God has been so gracious towards me. And He has done so solely because of who He is, and not because of who I am. This should leave me humbled and grateful. I am usually grateful; humbled...well, not so much.

I know this because when I see His generosity in the lives of others, my response is not usually one of joy for them - it's one of jealousy. I see what He has given them, and rather than celebrating His generosity, my response is usually, "Why not me, Lord?" Usually, I follow up that question by listing all of the reasons that I deserve His generosity in that area more than they do.

My heart is so easily deceived. Though I know that the gospel declares my brokenness apart from Christ, I often practically convince myself that I have something to offer God. But the truth is simple: I don't. He has been so good to me. And He has so good to all of His children. I don't need to begrudge God His generosity - there is more than enough to go around. In His infinite wisdom, He always gives us exactly what we need. It is in this knowledge that I can begin to see His generosity towards my brothers and sisters as a joyful truth rather than a frustrating discouragement.

Lay Aside Every Weight

In my Bible study, we are finishing up the book of Hebrews. I was struck last week by a verse in chapter 12: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and sin which so easily entangles..."

Did you catch that? There is a distinction between weight and sin. Sometimes, we are asked to lay aside neutral or even good things for the sake of the gospel and the glory of God. Sometimes that means turning off that TV show to spend time with a lonely friend. Sometimes it means setting aside time with friends in order to spend time with the Lord. Sometimes it means choosing to not buy a new car so that you the opportunity to spend that money in other places. Sometimes it means you leave the place and people you love and move halfway across the world to preach the gospel to people who haven't heard it.

These weights look different for everyone. This isn't a formula. What this requires is to obey the command that follows: "looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." It is only when you look to Jesus, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross. that you will lay aside every weight. When you look at Jesus, the only proper response is to count everything else as loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus as Lord.

Song: Holy (Wedding Day)

This is what we long for.

This is the story of the Son of God
Hanging on the cross for me
But it ends with a bride and groom
And a wedding by a glassy sea
O death where is your sting
Cause I'll be there singing
Holy Holy Holy
Is the Lord

This is the story of a bride in white
Waiting on her wedding day
Anticipation welling up inside
While the groom is crowned as king
O death where is your sting
Cause we'll be there singing
Holy Holy Holy is the Lord

Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy
Is the Lord Almighty
Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy
Is the Lord Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
Who was and is and is to come

This is the story of the Son of God
Hanging on the cross for me
And it ends with a bride and groom
And a wedding by a glassy sea

This is the story of the a bride in white
Singing on her wedding day
Of the God who was and is to stand before a bride who sings
Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty

Why Baptism?

I am so thankful for these beautiful truthes. 

Why Baptism? from Granger Community Church on Vimeo.

When You Feel Wronged...

I hope you all had a blessed Resurrection Sunday - I know I did. The past few days since then, though, there has been a completely unintentional situation at church that has left me feeling as if no one cares. I know is not true; I just feel as if it is right now. As hard as it has been, though, the Lord has used it to remind me of what I need to remember when I feel wronged by the church, and how I can respond in a way that is honoring to Him.

1. I don't serve the church for what I gain.
Each time I start to think about this situation, my gut reaction is to point to everything I have done for everyone at the church...the Bible studies I have babysat for, the many times I cleaned the sanctuary on a Saturday when no one else wanted to, the early mornings arranging chord charts for worship sets, the multiple nights each week I arrive home late because I am serving in some way; I am not un-involved. Honestly, I feel as if I am as committed at church as I can be at this point in my life.

But situations like this remind me that unless I am married and/or have a family at the church, I will still fall through the cracks more often then not. And while my initial reaction is to scream unfairness, that really isn't true. Either way, I don't serve so that others remember me and serve me back. I serve because the Lord has first loved me, because I love this church, and because I can. I have time and energy and resources right now that I won't always have. And even if no one sees, it doesn't matter. The Lord sees, and it is ultimately for Him anyway. My job is only to be faithful with what I have been given.

2. Our actions often have unintentional consequences.
What's been so hard about this situation is that all of the things that I have been hurt by are good things - things that are glorifying to God and bless someone else in the congregation abundantly. But by blessing this person so openly and publicly, I have been left feeling as if no one cares about the fact that I am in the same situation. I know that isn't the intention, but the results are the same. However, this has forced me to think about all of the things that I do, and the unintentional consequences that they might be having. I am not exempt from this problem, and it has been a heartbreaking reminder to watch my life more closely.

3. I need to focus on what unifies me with my brothers and sisters.
It's easy right now to dwell on all of the ways that I feel wronged, and to even go back to little things that people have done in the past that have been hurtful. But the truth is that love does cover a multitude of sins, and that even though I feel divided from some people in little ways in the moment, we are united because of Jesus and His finished work on the cross. In the midst of this, that is what I need to remember - that we all have the same Spirit and the same Lord at work in us for His glory.

It has been a challenging few days, but God is good. It has been good to process through everything and refocus on the things that matter.

The Cup He Drank

Today is Good Friday; a sobering day for quiet reflection. The theme of my church's service tonight is, "He drank our cup that we might drink His." The Old Testament speaks often of the cup of God's wrath that the wicked will drink:

For in the hand of the Lord there is a cup with foaming wine, well mixed,and he pours out from it, and all the wicked of the earth shall drain it down to the dregs. (Psalm 75:8)

Then you shall say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Drink, be drunk and vomit, fall and rise no more, because of the sword that I am sending among you.’And if they refuse to accept the cup from your hand to drink, then you shall say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord of hosts: You must drink! For behold, I begin to work disaster at the city that is called by my name, and shall you go unpunished? You shall not go unpunished, for I am summoning a sword against all the inhabitants of the earth, declares the Lord of hosts.’ (Jeremiah 25:27-29)

But then in Isaiah 51, we are given the first glimmer of hope, the first hinting of the cup that Christ would later drink for us:

Thus says your Lord, the Lord, your God who pleads the cause of his people: "Behold, I have taken from your hand the cup of staggering; the bowl of my wrath you shall drink no more." (Isaiah 51:22)

And then, many years later, we find Jesus in Gethsemane, praying that the Lord would remove this cup from Him. He knew the fullness of the wrath that He would drink, and yet, His prayer was, "My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done" (Matthew 26:42).

And He did drink it, the cup of God's wrath. And when it was empty, he declared, "It is finished," and the curtain in the temple was torn in two, split from top to bottom.

The wrath that we could never satisfy was drained dry by the One who could never deserve it. And now we drink of His cup, an inheritance that Peter describes as "imperishable, undefiled and unfading". This is a glorious thing. 

Book Review: Galatians for You

I was excited to have the opportunity to review Tim Keller's newest book, Galatians for You. As many of you know, my Bible study recently went through the book of Galatians. This was the perfect follow-up in helping me to expand upon and apply what I had learned during that study.

Keller devotes two or three chapters to each chapter of Galatians. Each chapter has two parts, with the first part addressing the more technical and theological issues relating to the text, and the second applying the passage to issues around us. Keller's goal is that we, like Paul in Galatians, would see the gospel not only as the starting point for the Christian life, but as the center point of our entire walk with the Lord. He says, "We are not only justified by faith in Christ, we are also sanctified by faith in Christ. We never leave the gospel behind."

And that is really what this book does - helps us to not leave the gospel behind in any area of our lives. This book is Keller doing what Keller does best: applying the gospel to everything. How does the gospel influence our work? Our view of race? Our interactions within the church? Keller answers each of these questions, and many more, using the book of Galatians.

One of the best parts of this commentary is its simplicity. While Keller doesn't shy away from any difficult or controversial issues, he addresses them in a way that is easy to follow and easy to understand why those issues matter. The content is engaging, but doesn't move away from the text.

At one point, Keller quotes an old hymn, which says:

Lay your deadly "doing" down -
Down at Jesus' feet.
Standing in Him, in Him alone -
Gloriously complete. 

Ultimately, I think that is what Galatians for You helps to accomplish. By pointing us continuously to the completed work of Christ on the cross, Keller helps us to see what the Lord's words are to us through Galatians: find our sufficiency in Christ alone. It is a glorious theme.

He is the True End

I just finished A Grief Observed; I would highly recommend it. It's a very honest journey through Lewis' grief and very helpful as we consider how to respond Biblically to the tragedies that we will experience here on this earth. One of my favorite quotes comes near the end. He says,

Am I, for instance, just sidling back to God because I know that if there's any road to H. [his wife], it runs through Him? But then of course I know perfectly well that He can't be used as a road. If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all. That's what was really wrong with all those popular pictures of happy reunions "on the further shore;" not the simple-minded and very earthly images, but the fact that they make an End of what we can get only as a by-product of the true End. 

And this is the truth...Scripture makes it clear that the Lord Himself is the point of everything. Everything is because of Him and for Him.

Video: An Adoption Story

I love this beautiful story of a domestic adoption that I came across a few days ago. Cue the tears...

Brothers and Sisters in Eastern Europe

My home church has partnered with a few different missionaries and ministries in a small, poor country in Eastern Europe for several years now (I'm not saying the name for the protection of my dear friends). While the Soviet Union is officially no more, the government in this place continues to operate in a very similar way. There is very little religious freedom and very little spiritual interest.

This past week, two pastors and one of their wives were here with us. It is always such an encouragement to see them. They claim that they are so refreshed to come and visit us, but I hardly think that they are more strengthened than we are.

Their ministry is hard. Most churches have between 10-30 members; several pastors have been in an area for 15 or 20 years and still have only seen 10 people come to know the Lord during that whole time. Christians are not treated well and their are many legal restrictions on their activities. Additionally, the economic state of their country often means that churches cannot support their pastor part-time, much less full-time. They usually work multiple jobs to provide for their families. Life is difficult.

But...their faithful service and their commitment to the gospel are so honoring to the Lord and a blazing testimony to His grace. One of the things that they repeated over and over as they were sharing with us yesterday is that their ministry in their home and our ministry here in the States are not two different ministries, but one unified proclamation and display of God's grace, in response to the gospel, for His glory. It is so sweet and beautiful to be reminded that God is working worldwide. We have the opportunity to truly love and support our brothers and sisters in prayer, in training, in encouragement, in finances and more.

But in our loving and supporting, we are not the losers, not by any means. Instead, as we share the Lord's blessing with them, they share His blessing with us. I left church yesterday reminded of how firm the gospel remains in the midst of tragedy and heartbreak because I had seen the testimony of those who lived it. I left reminded that the most important thing I can spend my life and my resources on is proclaiming the truth about Jesus because  they give everything to do that.

So today, I ask and encourage you to pray for our dear brothers and sisters. Pray for God's provision for them, for encouragement and strengthening in the truth of the gospel, for open hearts and fertile ground, for training in the Word of God, and most of all, that God would be glorified by them. I know that they appreciate your prayers!

Testing the Strength of Our Belief

The older I get, the more real grief becomes to me. When you are a child and the worst you have experienced is a friend moving away, it's hard to truly understand the nature of how real sorrow and pain are here on earth. I still haven't experienced many trials. But as I watch others walk through the valleys where the Lord has them, I hurt for them in a way that I never have before. It forces me back to the truths that I know to consider whether they withstand griefs like these. As I've been reading through C.S. Lewis' book A Grief Observed, I have been struck with how honestly he writes about his wife's death. He writes,

“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth of falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn't you then first discover how much you really trusted it?”

The beauty of deep pain and sorrow is that it forces us to come to Scripture and the Lord to see if we truly believe the gospel. Are we willing to count everything, even the best things, as a loss for the sake of Christ? He will not be found wanting. And that was it what Peter talks about at the beginning of his first letter.

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.  (1 Peter 1:6-9 ESV)

May sorrows truly be something that reveals the genuineness of our faith, resulting in the glory of God.

Just His Work, Please

I stopped at Starbucks to get a cup of a chai tea this morning after an early hike with a friend. Most people, it turns out, order chai lattes rather than plain tea. When I ordered tea, the lady behind the counter said, "A chai latte?"

I said, "No, just the tea, please."

She smiled and said, "Oh, would you like it misto?" (Misto, I was thinking - what is that? Tea with steamed milk, apparently. Clearly I don't stop at a coffee shop very often.)

"No, thank you. All I want is the tea bag and some water." She said, "Oooooh, ok." A few minutes later, she added, "Would you like honey with your tea?" I said, a little frustrated now, "No, I would just like tea, please."

Finally, I received my cup of plain chai tea - just a tea bag and hot water. Certainly, like black coffee, plain tea is an acquired taste, and apparently not one that many Americans have based on my experience. We love to add sugar and milk to make something a little more interesting or tasty.

I wonder if we often choose to do this to the gospel. I see it my own heart. Like the Galatians, I want Jesus. But I want my work to count for something too. Tea with milk and honey; the gospel with Jesus and my obedience. You know - if I read my Bible, that means the Lord is more pleased with me and more likely to listen to my prayers, right? But the gospel is Jesus only, not Jesus and anything else. My standing, our standing, before the Father is based solely on His work. My works are because of Jesus and because of my standing, not to earn them.

And praise God that it is, since our work isn't very impressive anyway, and is only a result of His grace. So may we not ask for our gospel with anything else - no milk or honey to make it sweeter to our ears. Today, may our prayer be, "Just Your work, Jesus, and none of mine. May I know the Father's satisfaction through Your life and death, not my own."

Loving Selflessly

Last week, I was on my old college campus four days in a row for different activities. I realized while I was there that it isn't always a comfortable place for me. There's a lot of people that I know and love, people that I know but haven't really talked to in 6 or 8 months, and then a ton of people who I don't even recognize. Especially when there are large groups of them all together, I start to shut down - I don't know who I should talk to, what to say, and whether or not they even remember who I am or want to talk to me.

But I was reminded that I am always blessed when someone unexpected goes out of their way to say hello to me. When someone asks me how I am, my response is never an angry one. I always feel cared for and loved. But so often my default when I go back on campus is to only talk to the people who reach out to me first - they are are safe.

But how selfish of me! That really shows my lack of true love for my dear friends at school. Rather than living in fear of rejection (fear of man), I ought to be so concerned with glorifying the Lord in my interactions with others that my default is to always ask how I can demonstrate love towards them.

It's interesting because this topic came up in Bible study as we were discussing how to live out Hebrews 3 in exhorting one another daily as long as it is called today. Turns out a lot of us struggle to reach out to other first, to pursue them regardless of whether they have talked to us.

But if our hearts are truly content and sure in Jesus in the way they ought to be because of the gospel, it really shouldn't matter to us how we are being treated; we are simply called to love, encourage and speak truth to our brothers and sisters.

It Depend on His Faithfulness

From Mark Talbot in For the Fame of God's Name, commenting on friends whose grief has overwhelmed their joy in the Lord:

I...know that their faith and their ultimate happiness do not depend on whether God is right now being glorified in them. Their future with God does not depend on their manifesting right now their complete and total satisfaction in Him, nor does it depend on their obedience, nor even on their being able to acknowledge God's goodness. It depends only on God's continued faithfulness to them. 

Psalm 8 is Our Destiny

I was reading through this sermon from John Piper as I was preparing for Bible study on Sunday. His conclusion was so full of hope of the gospel in the midst of all of life's trials that I had to share it.

What then shall we do? Put your faith in the promise of this great future grace—that what you see in Christ today will someday be your portion. 

Fix your eyes on Christ, not on the pain and futility and frustration and sickness and death of this age. They will not have the last word. Christ has conquered death and all the sin and pain that leads to death. 

Think on him. Consider him. Look to him. 

And say to cancer and paralysis and sightless children and airplane-eating Everglades and child-shooting fathers—say to every unsubjected enemy— 

"Psalm 8 is my destiny! In Christ Jesus all things will one day be put under my feet, and I will rule with him in glory forever and ever." 

Believe that and say that—in the face of every calamity and every frustration in life. 

Because it is true.  

Jesus has made it true.

Rejected for Us

This past summer, I went through a season where I felt very left out of a several friend groups that I had previously been really close to. I dealt with a lot of bitterness and anger, but it forced me to make the Lord my sufficiency. There were no longer friends to fill the emptiness that I felt. But this past week, some of the bitterness that I haven't felt in quite a while showed up again in my heart.

As I was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself and just thinking about how rejected I felt, the Lord reminded me of Isaiah 53.

The Lord Jesus was rejected too, for my sake.

He deserved none of it. He did not have to experience it. But He choose it. For me - for us! He was despised and rejected by men and God that I, that we, might be accepted by God. While He experienced no good thing from the Lord on the cross, I experience only good things from God.

Amazing grace, these words:

"Despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief."

Praise God!

Where Else Can I Go?

This past year was one of the hardest that I have been through. It was the first year where I really questioned what I knew about the Lord and I began to wonder if my church was where I ought to be. There were many times where what I knew from Scripture did not seem sufficient, and when I wondered if everything I had always believed was actually true. It wasn't easy.

But each time I would question, I would come to this conclusion: there is nowhere else to go. Though Christianity and Scripture in no way answers all of my questions, it is the only explanation in the world that even comes close. I felt like Peter after Jesus asked his disciples if they wanted to leave him too when things became difficult. Peter's response is, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life" (John 6:68).

There is no where else I can turn that brings hope to my weary, broken soul. And really, I don't want to go anywhere else. Though I don't understand His plans, I know His purposes, that they are steadfast and merciful (James 5:11). I know how sweet Jesus is. I know that He holds the words of eternal life.

So ultimately, I left last year feeling as if I was echoing Peter in 1 Peter 1 when he said, "Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. And though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory." My seeing Christ (or lack thereof) doesn't change who He is. His faithfulness, His grace, His work - they remain. So where else could I go? Where else would I want to go? He holds the words of eternal life. And that is enough.

Such a Great Salvation

Therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it. For since the message declared by angels proved to be reliable, and every transgression or disobedience received a just retribution, how shall we escape if we neglect such a great salvation?  (Hebrews 2:1-2 ESV)

We just started reading through Hebrews in my small group at church. Last night we discussed the beginning of chapter 2, which can be a notoriously sticky passage for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I get so caught up in understanding the controversy that I miss the most important part of a passage. I realized as I was preparing for our discussion that I had done that with Hebrews 2.

Such a great salvation. We truly have a great salvation - an infinitely glorious and holy God who sent His Son to bear the wrath that we could never bear so that we might receive grace and mercy. We have been pursued by a God not because we are worth anything or deserve anything, but simply because He delights to display His glories. We have been saved, redeemed, justified, adopted, and we will be sanctified and glorified. These are good and great things.

And yet...the author of Hebrews has to remind us to pay much closer attention. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. I see it in my heart. Such a great salvation, and I am prone to drift away.

I was reminded last night of how much I need Jesus. I don't see the works of the Lord without the work of Christ on the cross and the Spirit's application of that work to my heart. Even with that applied work, I am prone to drifting. The only remedy is to fix my eyes on Jesus, who is both the author and the perfecter of my faith, to pay much closer attention to His all-satisfying glories. I don't want to neglect such a great salvation. And so this morning, I look to Jesus.

Winning the War but Losing Hearts

Last week I had coffee with a friend who is intimately involved in pro-life ministry here in San Diego. Additionally, the Lord has placed her in classes at college where she has had the chance to build friendships with several homosexuals. I know that each of these ministries is very dear to her heart, and she intentionally considers how to glorify and obey the Lord in what can be very difficult and controversial contexts. She does so better than most Christians I know, maintaining both her commitment to the gospel and truth and also her deep love for the lost and desire for their salvation.

We attend different churches here, but both are very similar: conservative, reformed, dedicated to expository preaching. We love our churches, but as we were talking, we realized that over the past few months, we have been seeing the same weaknesses. Our churches are full of people who love the Lord and His gospel and truth. They desire to see His greatness proclaimed. 

But our churches are also full of people who do not always extend the grace of God to broken sinners. They like the sinners who have their act together. They want gay marriage outlawed, but don't want to minister to homosexuals who are contentedly living in their sins. They want abortion to be illegal, but rarely serve the young mother who doesn't know how she is going to provide for her precious baby. Don't get me wrong - this is a generalization and certainly isn't true of everyone. But the pattern remains.

I have been reading through Matthew and I have been struck by how Jesus loved the people that the Pharisees and other religious leaders weren't willing to love. He unashamedly spent time and built friendships with "tax collectors and sinners" (Matthew 11:19).

He came to save sinners, not the righteous.

He came to proclaim liberty to the captives, not to the the free.

He came to redeem the lost, not the already-found.

He came to proclaim God's radical love to those who did not deserve it, not those who do.

He came for the sick, not the healthy.

In our zeal for truth and obedience have we forgotten the most basic truth of the gospel, that Jesus Christ came to save sinners, even the foremost (1 Tim. 1:16)? Have we forgotten the grace and mercy of God that we have experienced, how He took our sin and bore the penalty that we deserved?

It's easy to love those who look like they have their lives together, and certainly, we ought to love and minister to them as well. But we display the power of the gospel in wonderful ways when we love with our words and actions those whom we disagree with most.

Do we declare sin to be sin? Absolutely. But we do so in order that we might proclaim the glorious and scandalous grace of God demonstrated through His Son. Jesus was absolutely committed to truth and the glory of God. But that led Him toward sinners and toward those whom the world despised. Does our commitment to truth do the same for us?

May the people of God be people who demonstrate love to the outcast, to the sinner, to the one who needs it the most. And may they do so that the world may know that our God is a God who is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, a God who redeems even the most wayward and broken of hearts, a God who has loved the unlovable through His Son, Jesus Christ. 

Remembering

November 15 was eleven days ago. And I realized this week that, sadly, this was the first time in 5 years that it had not been a day of great meaning for me.

Five years ago, on November 15, my family got a phone call. It was a Thursday afternoon at about one o'clock, and the debate practice tournament was that Saturday. I can still picture exactly where I was sitting (in the loft) and what I was doing (putting all of our printed evidence into my binder).

My mom was sitting by the computer, and answered the phone, like usual. It seemed like a normal conversation, until I heard her say, "Yes, I'm sitting down." That's when I began to wonder. And worry. I don't remember the rest of what was said, but I do remember exactly what my mom said when she hung up. "I have cancer." Those were devastating, life-changing, scary words.

I knew that those words should have made me cry, and made me scared. But they didn't. All the adrenaline that comes with preparing for a tournament stopped those words from impacting me the way they should have. That is, until Sunday morning, after the tournament adrenaline had worn off.

That's when the full weight of what was happening really struck me. I have such vivid memories about that Sunday, even down to what song we sang for choir, and how it seemed perfect for my situation:

In prisoner's chains, with bleeding stripes,

Paul and Silas prayed that night,

And in their pain, began to sing.

Their chains were loosed, and they were free. 

'I bless Your name. I bless Your name.

I give You honor, give You praise.

You are the Life, the Truth, the Way,

I bless Your name. I bless Your name.' 

Some midnight hour if you should find

You're in a prison in your mind

Reach out and praise,

Defy those chains

And they will fall in Jesus' name.

 I remember sobbing during worship that morning, and then sobbing some more alone in our bedroom that afternoon, questioning the Lord and His purposes. Didn't He know that I needed my mom? I dug into Scripture that day like I have at no other time. And then something changed. Hope came into view. I will never forget the power that Psalm 18 had that day:

"You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop ; with my God I can scale a wall...For who is God besides the LORD ? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect."

It's been five years, and other than that one day where hopelessness reigned, all I can remember is God's goodness.

His goodness when I could no longer stand.

His goodness when the storm raged.

His goodness when it was all I could do to face another day.

His goodness to provide exactly what I needed when I needed it.

The cancer is, by His grace, gone for now, and has been for four years. What remains is memories of who God is and the great things He has done. My mom's journey through cancer was a time when I knew the goodness of God in the most powerful of ways. It was not easy, but it is a time that I look back towards with great joy because I was so desperate to know the truth of Jesus. And He was so very sweet.

For that reason, I am sad that I did not remember November 15 this year. That day has always been one of the biggest reminders of His faithfulness and grace. It is a good thing to raise our ebenezer, to remember that it was He who has helped us thus far and it is He who will bring us safely home.

May we always remember His goodness to us! If He loved us, rebels against Him in every way, enough to give His own son to die in our place, how can we not trust Him through the pain? Trials will come in this broken world, but in the storm, let us seek His goodness, His grace and His strength.

We will find Him faithful.

And may His faithfulness bring us to our knees in worship.