This past year was one of the hardest that I have been through. It was the first year where I really questioned what I knew about the Lord and I began to wonder if my church was where I ought to be. There were many times where what I knew from Scripture did not seem sufficient, and when I wondered if everything I had always believed was actually true. It wasn't easy.
But each time I would question, I would come to this conclusion: there is nowhere else to go. Though Christianity and Scripture in no way answers all of my questions, it is the only explanation in the world that even comes close. I felt like Peter after Jesus asked his disciples if they wanted to leave him too when things became difficult. Peter's response is, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life" (John 6:68).
There is no where else I can turn that brings hope to my weary, broken soul. And really, I don't want to go anywhere else. Though I don't understand His plans, I know His purposes, that they are steadfast and merciful (James 5:11). I know how sweet Jesus is. I know that He holds the words of eternal life.
So ultimately, I left last year feeling as if I was echoing Peter in 1 Peter 1 when he said, "Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. And though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory." My seeing Christ (or lack thereof) doesn't change who He is. His faithfulness, His grace, His work - they remain. So where else could I go? Where else would I want to go? He holds the words of eternal life. And that is enough.